Lighthouse
by littlebluedress016
Summary: "You're always calling her name.I'm jealous because you're being beaten up and tortured just as badly as I am, and yet you can still hold on.You're still strong enough to hold on to her.You're still hoping."


_**As usual, I own nothing you recognize. And I don't recommend suing me because believe me, I'm broke.**_

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"Maybe he really doesn't know anything."

"It doesn't matter. If the President says we should continue interrogating him, we should. Or else we'll be the ones in trouble."

"I feel sorry for the kid though."

"I know. So do I."

Peeta could hear the conversation clearly. He could not even believe that Peacekeepers are feeling sympathy for him.

The interrogation on that day was particularly bad. He was whipped and beaten up several times. He was forced to listen to Katniss' screams, to conversations where she said horrible things, how she could never love him back and that he was stupid to believe that she could. He barely had the strength to stare at the disgustingly white washed walls of his cell. He had to convince himself that it was not Katniss speaking. The Capitol wanted him to break and so they will do anything to ensure that.

He could hear Johanna screaming from the adjoining cell next to his. Strangely enough, he found comfort in knowing that Johanna was there. Not because she was being hurt, of course. But just the knowledge that he was not alone made him feel a little stronger.

He could not even remember how long he was imprisoned for. But it didn't matter, because if he knew one thing, it was that he would not be alive for long. He could only hope that wherever Katniss was, she was safe.

He closed his eyes, visualizing the last moments in the arena. He liked to believe that Katniss really did love him then, maybe not romantically, but love all the same. He could just remember the way she held him when he hit the force field; how she cried when he opened his eyes… just knowing that she survived made everything worthwhile.

He tried to hoist himself up to get into a more comfortable position, but instead, he felt a searing pain in his back. He let out a sharp hiss and gave up, resigning to moving when his wounds felt a little less raw.

Johanna's session must be over. Peeta heard the unmistakable sound of the metal door slamming and the sound of her screams died out. Every once in a while she would let out a string of profanities at the top of her lungs, but the guards ignored her. They learned to just let her curse all she wanted instead of having to deal with her violent nature when they tried to make her quiet. Peeta smirked at that. Johanna's time in captivity had done nothing to lessen her tenacity.

Him, on the other hand… he kept quiet. He could not trust himself to speak, because he knew, that anything he says would be used against him and against Katniss. He was told to do an interview two days after the escape from the arena, where he was allowed to present Katniss as an innocent victim who did not know what she was doing, only that she wanted to keep the two of them- Peeta and herself- alive. The people of the Capitol, much to Peeta's surprise, especially in the light of the rebellion- were still enamored by their tragic love story.

Johanna's cell had gone quiet. Peeta hoped that she had gone to sleep. Over the course of their stay, Peeta had learned a lot about Johanna. When they were able to, they talked. About their lives, about what awaits them outside… if they were still alive to see the outside. Johanna told him about her family, whom she loved deeply: her mother, father and younger brothers, who all cried when she was called forth to be a tribute. All of whom lost their lives when she refused to sell herself as Snow commanded. Peeta felt sick at the thought of what happened to the Victors after they win. He couldn't help comparing their fates and thinking that he and Katniss had it easy.

He could hear her screaming through the walls at night, too. She called out for everyone she lost along the way, fighting nightmares just like him. As he stared at the ceiling, he wondered how Katniss was faring with the nightmares. Does she still scream? Does she call for him?

He had an uneasy sleep that night. He dreamt of the arena exploding again, of Katniss being stabbed by Brutus, of her half-dead body being tossed aside to be devoured by mutts…

He felt the scream on his lips. It sounded foreign, but he knew it was him. Who else would call out for Katniss?

"She's safe…she's safe…she's alright, she's not here…" he repeated to himself. "She's safe…Katniss is safe…"

He could hear Johanna's muffled cries from her cell. He wanted very much to comfort her, but he found himself without anything to say.

"J-Johanna?"

He heard the sniffles and a harsh, "What?"

"I just want you to know that you're not alone." Bruised and bloodied as he was, he could not help but feel sorry for Johanna, who felt like she had nothing to hold on to. With a horrible jolt, he realized that he had nothing but Katniss too. His family was killed in the bombings in Twelve. He knew- they showed him the video. He had nothing to hold on to but Katniss, and the sliver of hope that she was still alive and fighting.

"Easy for you to say," Johanna snapped back. "You have _her_ waiting for you to come out. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she's devising your rescue right now."

"They would rescue you too. They won't leave you," Peeta told her.

Silence descended on them. "I'm sorry for snapping at you," she said in an unusually small voice. "To be honest, I'm a little jealous of you right now."

"Jealous of what?" Peeta laughed despite himself. "We're both prisoners, Johanna. We get equal treatment."

"Not that," she said impatiently. "I hear you every night, you know. You're always calling her name. I'm jealous because you're being beaten up and tortured just as badly as I am, and yet you can still hold on. You're still strong enough to hold on to her. You're still hoping. You still believe that somehow you'll make it back to her," he could practically hear her choke on her words. "You still believe in love."

"What else do I have to hold on to?" he asked her quietly. "I have nothing left. All I have is Katniss, and I'm not even sure if she'll still be there. She doesn't love me the way I love her."

"You really are stupid."

"What?" Peeta was taken aback by her blunt statement.

"You heard me. You're stupid. I've seen you two together. It's sickening," she said and Peeta could almost imagine her rolling her eyes.

They went quiet again. Soon, Peeta could hear Johanna's soft sighs, telling him that she had fallen asleep. He closed his eyes and remembered what Katniss told him on the beach.

"_I do. I need you."_

He played the memory again and again. He fought to remember the fire in her eyes as she said it. He remembered the way she called out his name when they were separated. He recalled the panic in her voice as he ran to find her. He told himself that he could not give up now. He was fighting for her.

Another memory made its way to his mind. He remembered something he had seen as a child. He was watching television when he first saw it- and he immediately asked his father what the big tower near the ocean was. Of course, he had never seen the ocean before- that was in District Four, but he was fascinated by the way the light spun around in the dark.

"_It's called a lighthouse, Peeta," his father had said. "It's to help ships navigate their way through the sea when it's too dark to see."_

A lighthouse. It's a beam of light shining across the ocean, showing him the way, erasing every hint of doubt in his mind. Giving him hope. Katniss' voice, calling out to him, was the last thing he remembered before his world went black. His lighthouse is Katniss.

He could almost hear her calling for him, shouting his name. He could almost see her outstretched hand reaching out to take him to safety.

To take him home.

He fell asleep with a smile dancing on his lips.

The next day, when the guards opened his door, he didn't struggle. He looked almost at peace- which perplexed them. He was supposed to be downtrodden, battered to an inch of his life.

Instead he looked content.

It made Snow angry. He had slapped Peeta so hard he fell on his back, but he could not wipe out the serene expression on Peeta's face. Finally he ordered them to take Peeta someplace else. He was dragged into a room that resembled a clinic- white tile all around and a sinister-looking armchair in a corner facing a television.

Snow was smiling cruelly as Peeta was strapped into the chair. A person wearing a laboratory coat came in, holding a syringe full of liquid the color of molten gold. Snow nodded and the person made his way to Peeta.

He closed his eyes, waiting for the pain, his mind focused on Katniss.

_Looks like this is it for me. I'm sorry, Katniss._

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I always wondered what the torture/imprisonment was like for Peeta. POOR PEETA! But to be honest, it's one of the things I hope they add to the movie version of Mockingjay. Don't you think so? They could start it off at the end of Catching Fire or something, like while Katniss is in the hovercraft and Peeta's being dragged or beaten up or thrown into a cell. Oh gosh, I'll probably cry!

Again, review! I'm on a roll with writing! If you want more, REVIEW!

I have about three more stories waiting to be written, but I guess that's it for tonight… I'm getting a headache!


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